sweet/shortcake?

Disclaimer: This post may get me killed. So, if y'all don't hear from the kid....please call my Mama and claim my remains (if you can find them).

I like to think I'm a good girlfriend. I don't think I'm perfect by any stretch of the imagination but I like to think I make a companion. The key word there is: think.

I feel like I've written this post before. I have definitely had these feelings before. And I swear on a stack of phonebooks, the conversation Secret and I had the other day, I had with Shortcake. Almost word for freaking word. When she uttered that damn phrase, I almost called her Shortcake. In fact, over the past several days there have been times I almost called her Shortcake.

I didn't but I almost did. Now don't get me wrong, Shortcake was good to me (and for me). We had good times. She will always have a special place in my heart. She is just an all around good person. We (she and I) didn't work, but that has no bearing on her personality. What does this have to do with anything? Well, everything...

It caught me by surprise that I almost called Secret Shortcake. I was like 'where the hell did that come from' then I kinda smiled. For me to connect with Secret on one level and then for us to also connect on a whole 'nother level, just solidified my feelings for Secret. But with the good, comes the not-so-good, thus our recent conversations.

The only constant in these two situations is me. Did the Fox not learn her lesson? Am I making the same mistakes? Is this relationship doomed to the same fate as the other? I learned my lessons...right? Right? Right? If I learned my lesson, how can I be here...again...having the same dialogue?

Is this a sign? An omen? Or just me overacting? I feel like I should pay attention to what is going on here. Maybe these are just growing pains. Do I now have a damn six month curse on my head? Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe I can think of another cliche to put here to make myself feel better....

The thing is, I know Secret is good to me and for me. I love her from a very special place in my heart. We connect in so many different ways. I have never questioned her love for me nor my love for her. She and I fit. Perfectly. So, where the hell is this other stuff coming from? I don't know, maybe I need to get my shit together, but wherever it's coming from truly

Makes. No. Sense.