my first love

Hmmm, my first love...

To be completely honest, my first love was books. I love the written word and it's ability to inspire and confound. Words on a page are never just words on a page. Those words, those letters, that specific combination was put together purposely by the one who penned them. I love books, or rather I love authors for books write not themselves. (LOL, see what I did there.)

My nose was forever, and will forever be, stuck in a book. As I write this, I am anxiously awaiting eight books that I ordered online. I can't wait for them. Two of them are books of poetry and the rest are work-related type books. I'm even excited about reading those. One is called The God Part of the Brain, since I am a chaplain whose clinical area happens to be Neuroscience.

I love a good story. I love good poetry. I can't even begin to name some of my favorites because I'm afraid I'll leave someone out. I like the classics. I like the contemporary. I like the new classics. Sometimes I curl up with an old book like 'Where the Red Fern Grows' or 'To Kill a Mockingbird' and get lost all over again.

The Fireside Poets still excite me as they did when I first discovered them in high school. I love to get lost in the Harlem Renaissance and pretend I'm a flapper with a pen and a story to tell. I love these spoken word artists who rather than put pen to paper put lips to a mic. The snap, snap of the audiences stirs my inner poet.

If you are still reading, you are probably thinking that this is not what this post is suppose to be about. You wanna know about my first human love. LOL, yall nosy. Aight, let me give yall the full disclosure yall have to come to expect here. My first love was a dude...dun dun dun. I have blogged about him before. I called him Devin.

I met him in high school. We were in different high schools, but on our respective high school debate teams. He showed me interest. I thought he was cool and interesting. During this time in my life, I was asexual. Not only was I not attracted to either sex, sex did not interest me. Actually, it disgusted me. The whole idea was lost on me, so while my friends were humping everything moving, I was not interested.

That's why Devin and I didn't last. He wanted it. I didn't. We tried. It didn't work. Fast forward to college. Devin and I gave it a go again. Dating was great. He is an awesome guy, but again, I just wasn't interested. I mean, I thought he was cute but there was no excitement downstairs. When we finally did have sex, it was blah. I was so not into it.

I thought there was something wrong with me, so did Devin. We remained close, outside of the bedroom. But, eventually, he wanted to fuck and he wanted it with somebody who wanted it. I didn't want it. So, we broke up. I was devastated. I was completely heartbroken. So, I dated a bit in college, but they never lasted long because I didn't want sex.

Eventually, I discovered girls...well, actually they discovered me. But even then, it was a couple years before there was fire in the furnace! So, there you have it folks, my first love. A journey that

Makes. No. Sense.