exit stage right

WARNING: YOU MAY NEED A KLEENEX!!!

We wake up Monday morning trying to be cheery. I go to put on coffee and make breakfast. We have breakfast and get in a quickie before we get out and about. There is a restaurant that her grandmother took her to all the time when she was growing up. Being the good girlfriend that I am, I took Secret to this same restaurant. We enjoy a nice lunch. We go to the mall to walk off some of those calories.

We go back to the house, so she can get her things together. I'm trying desperately not to cry. In the car, she said she was thirsty. While she is repacking, I get her a glass of lemonade. I hand it to her and she blushes. "Ohh, baby. You remembered." she gushes. I'm thinking it's just lemonade. So, she packs. I sit in the living room and try to hold it together.

Secret comes and sits next to me. "Give me a hug." she says. I hug her. Tight. I don't want to let her go. "Come, lay next to me" she whispers. We lay in the bed. I close my eyes and snuggle into her chest. Damn tears. Don't cry. Don't cry. "What's wrong?" she asks. "Don't leave me." I whisper. "I'm here right now. Don't cry. Baby, don't cry." she says. I can't help it. The tears roll down my face.

She takes me in her arms. Squeezing me. Trying to comfort me. She takes her hand and wipes the tears off my face. She places soft kisses on my face. "It's okay, baby. It's only temporary." she says. She gathers me in her arms again. "Enjoy me now. Please. Don't cry, baby." she pleads.

She takes my lips into hers. Kissing me deeply and tenderly. "No crying. None. We'll be be together soon." she whispers. We make love, for what feels like the last time. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want her to go. We wait as long as possible to leave the house. As she goes to wash her hands, I roll over and smell the sheets because they smell like her.

"Baby" she says. "I know" I answer. I get dressed and help her load up the car. As I drive her, I am trying not to cry all over again. She gets all checked in. We stand and talk. We laugh. I crack jokes. I was okay til.... Til it was really time for her to go. I gave her a tight hug and whispered "I love you" in her ear.

I sat and watched her disappear. I promised I wouldn't cry, but it was hard. She texted me "I love you too. No tears. You promised." I smile. I sat and waited. Then, just like that she was gone. On her way back home. Back to Texas. Away from me. I kept my promise. No tears. I got home and it seemed so empty. Her absence was so prevalent. I felt so incomplete.

I could smell her. The cup her lemonade was in is still sitting where she left it. I still smell vanilla. Damn, I miss her. I wanna get in the car and meet her in Atlanta. Tell her to come back to me. Plead for her to stay with me. Better yet, get in the car and drive to Texas. Me and Eros. No plan, just go. I don't. I wanted to, but I didn't.

I walked around my house like I had lost my best friend, because, well, I did. Well, not lost. Just temporarily displaced. I can't wait to be with her all the time. Me, her, Bella, and Eros. Our little happy lesbian family. Then, a bit later, a kid. I delayed writing this cause I knew I would tear up. I love her.

Well, there you have it dear readers. Our first visit. Now, on to other stories in my life and trust me they

Make. No. Sense.