'tis the season...

'Tis the season to be merry, right? This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. There are some stories out there that have really jingled my bells. If these stories/things/people went away today, I would be oh so merry.

--Tiger Woods! Who gives a good gosh darn? I am so tired of hearing that stupid voice mail and seeing that God awful picture of Tiger's Cadillac. I don't really care that he cheated on his wife. Because, well, it has absolutely nothing to do with me. He wasn't creeping with me. Who cares?!

--Gov. Mark Sanford! I am so tired of this dude. Okay, yeah he cheated on his wife (do I see a pattern here). Yes, I'm mad he left the state and no one knew where he was. However, it's done and over with. If he was going to be impeached, it should have happened back when the story broke. Why have impeachment proceedings just started? At this point, who cares?

--Mary Norwood! Like any good Atlantan, I still follow Atlanta politics (if fact, I'm still a registered Georgia voter). Ms. Norwood, you lost. Reed, won! End. Of. Discussion. We don't need a recount. Would you please concede already? Please? This race has been ugly enough without this added drama. Chalk it up and do better next time.

--Kanye and Taylor Swift! OMG, I'm tired of these two. Not just individually but also collectively. Yea, he should not have interrupted her speech, but she got her moment. Can we please move on? Why is she winning all these awards? I mean, big ones too. Could these two just disappear until after the new year starts. That would be great. Thanks.

--VH1! I used to love VH1. I mean, they had pop-up videos and behind the music. But if they give one more celebrity/has been/tryna be/my last pitiful attempt at fame a reality show, I'm going to scream. I'm warming my vocal cords as we speak because I just heard that Fantasia has a reality show that will start in 2010.

--The Jacksons! Well, specifically, the Jackson men. I am too through with these dudes right here. Please, go back to doing whatever it was you were doing when MJ was alive and we never saw or heard from you. I'm tired of the "Pimp My Brother's Death" show. Can I just say that I'm mad at A&E for giving them a reality show? Go. Away. Quickly.

--Precious! Umm, ladies and gentlemen, at the end of the day it's just a movie. I love a good film like anyone else. In fact, the art of cinematography has been quite influential on my life. Yes, films are art. Art can and does inspire. But unless, you have personally (read, financially) invested in this film (beyond buying a movie ticket) please shut the hell up. Especially those folks who have not seen the movie, have not read the book, and have started a movement against the film. Ummm, what?

--The Blind Side! I haven't seen this movie and probably won't. But, I saw the family and the actors on The View. They seem genuine enough and they did what apparently no one else was willing to do for Mr. Oher. I know folks see this as another 'great white hope' movie but the fact of the matter is they did what they did. Yes, I wanna see a black movie about black folks helping black folks but griping about this movie is not going to help the cause.

--The keep 'Christ' in Christmas people! Okay, I know as a minister I probably shouldn't say this but since we family I'mma say it anyway. There is nothing, I repeat NOTHING, wrong with saying 'happy holidays'. You will not go to hell for not saying 'merry christmas'. I go back and forth between the two. The truth be told christmas has very little to do with christ. *gasp* Did I say that out loud? Advent has everything to do with christ and just because the seasons overlap does not mean they are one and the same. I wonder how many of these folks have advent calendars and wreaths in their homes. Give it up people. Give. It. Up.

--Those folks who sell crosses at Christmas! Umm, wrong season and wrong holiday. This is advent, not lent. Jesus hasn't even been born yet and you are already killing him off. I know it's just be, but dang.

--Those damn Salvation Army bell ringers! Why I gotta get the side-eye cause I didn't put anything in YOUR bucket. I mean, come on. Y'all are at every store. You don't know how many times I have dropped something in a bucket. Better yet, how you know I'm not going in this store to buy toys to donate to the cause. Please, stop rolling your eyes at me. Thank you.

--TMZ! Please. Go. Away. Thank you and good night!

Okay, I'll step off my soapbox now.