a day late and a dollar short

Yea, I know I'm late but people keep writing stuff I want to comment on. The main culprit is Rippa, but all y'all do it from time to time. This is in response to something a guest poster wrote a while back.

"Thinking about homophobia in the Black community. Is this a phenomenon gender specific? I'd like to know if Black lesbians feel the backlash as well, or is it exclusive to the Black gay male collective? Is it more a man thing than it is a female thing?" --Rippa

I remember the first time I encountered a same sex relationship. It was when I saw 'The Color Purple' for the first time and Miss Celie and Shug Avery kissed. It was no big deal cause it happened for only a second and both of those women liked men (at least that's what I thought at the time and this was before I read the book). Granted, I was young but no one explained to me what I had just seen on the television screen.

I remember the first time I heard the word "bulldyke." There was this movie (which was also a book first) called 'The Women of Brewster Place.' This was a wonderful movie with an all star cast. If you have not seen it, you should definitely check it out. Anywho, two of the women we encounter in this story are lesbians who have just moved to the neighborhood. We find out the two relocated because one of the ladies thought that someone on her job found out she was gay.

These two women had an elderly neighbor (a woman) who spied on them. This same neighbor "outed" one of them at a neighborhood meeting. Neighbors got leery if one of them was talking to a kid. A dude from the block told one of them she just needed some good dick (not his words but that's what he meant). Now, I know this is just a movie (and book) but art imitates life, right?

I'm going to venture to say that homophobia in the Black community is not gender specific. Black lesbians feel the backlash just as much as Black gay men. (if not more) Think about it for a moment. First, the Black Church invented 'don't ask, don't tell'. The church has long accepted Black gay men as musicians and choir directors. Black gay men chair committees for decorating the church. We all know that they are gay and they don't have to hide it.

But Black gay women, that's an entirely different story. I have spent my entire life in the church. As I have thought about this, I can not name one gay woman I know from church. Not. One. I can, however, name several gay men that I know from church. I'm pretty sure that's not by accident.

I'm sure you've heard the term 'corrective rape'. If not, this is the idea that if a woman is forced to have sex with a man she will no longer desire women. While, I do not think the Black community condones or promotes rape of any sort, I do believe that is a common school o thought within the Black community that if a woman has sex with a man she will leave women alone.

Growing up around my male cousins, I learned that they see non-butch lesbians as a challenge. The thinking seemed to be if they could 'turn one out' that she would never leave them. Older men encouraged and promoted this thinking. If the right man can get her, she won't think about women again.

I don't wish to compare scars and share war stories because I know we all have them. Now that I have gone around the block to go next door, let me give you my short answers. Is the phenom gender specific? Hell no! The ignorant and hateful are equal opportunity. To them, we are but fags and dykes and that is where our identity begins and ends. Do Black lesbians feel backlash? In the words of Say Pay (Sarah Palin), you betcha! The funny (or ironic depending on one's viewpoint) thing is that the folks who have the biggest problem with Black lesbians is straight Black women. WTF? That really

Makes. No. Sense.