the table (part one)

So, I recently had the following conversation:

me: do you think you are girlfriend material?
friend: (quickly) hell yea! (awkward laughter)
me: what's so funny?
friend: (matter of fact) i'm wife material.
me: *side eye*
friend: (blushing and embarrassed) i promise i'm not conceited.

While I didn't think much of our conversation at the time, our exchange has stuck with me and, over the course of the past few days, bothered me.  I mean, why is it that knowing your worth makes you conceited?  Over the past couple of weeks I have had several conversations that have included the phrase "not to sound elitist but..." (in fact I just said it not an hour ago).  I guess having standards makes you an elitist just as knowing your worth makes you conceited.

That being said....

I used to be (or I should say, I am a recovering) equal opportunity dater.  I have dated a little bit of everybody.  I dated a drug dealer, a Muslim, a Baha'i, high school drop out, and the list goes on and on.  My whole thing was I want to date the person, not the circumstance.  I didn't want be judgmental.  The fact of the matter is I was too young and inexperienced to know that I was trying to take the easy way out.  No one wants to be rejected but everything ain't for everybody.

Do I believe that interfaith relationships can work? Of course!  Could a Ph.D have a healthy relationship with a high school drop out? Maybe.  Could a dope boy be happy with Sister Straight-laced from Overcoming Church of Our Lord Missionary Methodist Faith Center? Possibly.  Does that mean that these dynamics will work for me and what I want in a partner? Hells no!

So, that brings me to the proverbial table.  After you have reached a certain age, I'm sure the "what does this person bring to the table" conversation happens when deciding who to date or to enter into a serious relationship with someone.  In the past, when I approached this question, I was solely focused on me and what I bought to the table.  I was (and am) concerned with making sure I can hold up my end of the relationship.  I mean, that cool and all, but it landed me in one-sided relationships.

I think I am good at naming and claiming what I bring to the table, however I am not good at naming and claiming what I should require the other person to bring.  This frustrates me.  To. No. End.  As I approach 30, I am ready to settle down.  I think it is time for me to become "elitist" and "conceited" to get what I want out of a partner. 

So, while y'all let this marinate, I'm going to put together two lists; what I bring to the table and what I require any potential partners to bring to the table.  I will post them later today.  I feel like I'm late to the party, but this is so necessary.  This is gonna be awkward and it

Makes. No. Sense.