So, I was reading Alix Golden over at A Brown Girl and she got me to thinking. I have uttered the phrase 'you know imma girl, right' more times than I care to count. I know that some studs/bois/butches may not necessarily be in touch with their feminine side, but I am. I am secure in my masculinity AND femininity. I need balance (lol, I am a libra.)
While Alix wonders what if she carries all the groceries and can handle a drill, I wonder what if I cry at the Lifetime movie, hell what if I like Lifetime. What if I wanna wear Vickie Secret underwear. What if I wanna take a shower with Love Spell instead of Old Spice. Do I somehow lose my status as the "man" of the house? Do I become less than...
I mean I like to be held. I like compliments. I like to feel appreciated. Shit, I like flowers and candy. I like it when you call me daddi, but I also like it when you call me ma. I like to be caressed. I like fluidity. I like the flow back and forth. I need both sides of me supported and appreciated. I often deny myself and my feelings for the other person.
So, there are times when my feminine side does not get nurtured. Honestly, sometimes, I'm afraid to say anything because so often I feel like I'm seen as weak. I like to clean. It helps me think and process. But, there are women who think that studs who clean are, well, effeminate (and apparently that's bad). I like to bake. I'm not helpless in all things domestic. I can cook. Yet, those are not good stud qualities.
Is it okay that I wear the pants, even if I have an apron over them? Any thoughts? These gender roles
Make. No. Sense.
Wow, how unfortunate that women you have encountered have viewed all these wonderful qualities as weak or bad. Don't allow only half of you to be nurtured (not a Libra's style). Accept nothing less than admiration of everything that you are from anyone who shares your space. Gender roles are such a nuisance. People unknowingly will these roles on their children by not giving them gender-neutral toys. Everything was placed in front of me as a child. I played with my He-man and Hot Wheels more than Barbie. As we get older and establish romantic relationships whether straight or gay, once again we are cast into all new gender roles. Studs/Femmes, etc. I will continue to run a neutral home, date women who aren't into the hype, and raise my son with the understanding that their are no specific roles and he is expected to be domesticated in my house and when he gets a mate.
ReplyDeleteYou sound marvelous! I love those qualities in a woman. I do not liek women who get so caught up int he label, that they deny themselves or their partner wonderful experiences. I like bois who are still feminine. That makes them real to me. Plus, I like to do all that stuff too, so there is a great balance.
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