So most of you know that I love my girlfriend. And most of you also know that although we are together now, we may not be for very long. If that situation is not confusing enough, we spent the majority of the weekend together and had a pretty good time. I feel so torn...
ON ONE HAND
I effin love this girl. She makes my heart sing. I love her so much I sat in a cold salon watching really bad tv while she got her hair twisted for 12 straight hours (it started a 3:00pm and ended at 3:00am) and was happy to do it. I had her keys. I could have left. But I wanted to stay. I could not pass up the opportunity to share the same space as her. I was so cool to just be able to chill with her.
ON THE OTHER HAND
I wanted so bad to kiss her and hold her, but I knew it wasn't happening. Though, I told her that I wanted to kiss her. I mean how can we be together but not be together. She needs a friend. I want to be that friend. It's like my heart is getting in the way. I want to be as good a friend to her as she has been to me but...I don't know...I just can't. I mean it's not that I can't be her friend. It's really I can't JUST be her friend.
I don't know. I had a good time kickin it with her this weekend. Once I got over my initial awkwardness, we had good conversation and lots of laughs. I don't know, y'all. I just don't know.
Sounds cliché but it's ok not to know.
ReplyDeleteI don't have much to say on your situation. Nothing I say will really make a difference, you know how you feel. Just wanted to say I know how it feels and no matter the decision you both make, you will feel better eventually.
ReplyDeleteI've been in your girlfriend's position before, and I know it is difficult for you. I dated my first love for two years and when I left for college and he stayed home, I was so overwhelmed with the change that I decided a relationship wasn't something I was needing. He didn't understand and he completely cut me off. And it hurt because the feelings were there, I just needed a friend at that point in my life. I'd say be understanding because you don't want to think one day that you missed out on an amazing friendship AND love interest. I've also been in your shoes and didn't understand, and it's an awful feeling. Patience, sis. That seems cliche and motherly, but sometimes you have to take a deep breath and live life without thinking.
ReplyDeleteBe Righteous